Slayed the Serpent

Okay, well, I'm sorry if the above photo grosses you out.  I guarantee it grossed me out much more.  You see, that little killer was on my toilet.  I slayed the serpent hours ago and I'm still a bit queasy and on edge.  I'm in fear of the dark in my home right now.  Where one hatchling is, surely there are more lurking, waiting to attack me.  Yes, I'm dramatic, so my husband says.  I'm a GIRL!!  A girl who doesn't like snakes. 

So, long story short.  Mom gets little sleep these days and lives on coffee.  Mom needs eggs and runs to town.  On the drive home, Mom, whose bladder has been weakened by four pregnancies, has to pee really bad. Once home, Mom rushes to the bathroom, pulling skirt up while walking to save time.  Mom almost sits on toilet, but sees a snake on the tank, peeking out from behind the lid, wrapped around with it's head resting on on the handle.  Mom screams and Mom pees herself...just a little.  Okay, seriously, you would too if you discovered a snake on your toilet.  Mom freaks and calls dad.  He tells her to kill.  She says, "I have to pee first."  She uses the kid's toilet, but inspects for snakes in there first too.

Mom gets some sort of long handled scraper tool that dad told her was in the carport.  She can't hit the snake at the neck because it's head is on the handle, so she hits it in the middle of the body.  Well, I'll spare the icky details, but it wasn't dying fast enough and certainly was trying to attack anything within it's reach like the trash can and my face.  Well, maybe not my face, but you never know.  I mean I certainly never thought I'd be killing a snake that was on my toilet, so is it so far fetched to think it could jump on my face??

Anyhow, Mom tells Kristy to go get a bowl to knock it in and a knife.  She slides in it the bowl and cuts it head off.  Mom officially slayed the serpent.  I really wish I could have done it from afar with just a little stone like David.  But, no, I had to get up close and personal and brutal.  Eeeeewww! 

Snake identification time and Mom is completely convinced it's a cottonmouth and other little hatchlings are lurking somewhere to attack her own little hatchlings.  But, dad says it's a baby black rat snake.  Whew!  Well, Mom does feel a little bad because they are supposed to be our friends, killing mice and such.  Perhaps, she shouldn't have been so hasty to kill and instead transported it to the woods.  But, really any snake on her toilet is just asking for it.  Eeeeewww again! 

Mom has no idea why she told this story in the third person.  Perhaps, perhaps, it makes it feel a little less personal, like it happened to some other unfortunate gal and she can enjoy a laugh at that poor woman's expense. ;-)  Go ahead and laugh.  You know you want to.  How am I supposed to sleep peaceably tonight?  Where, oh where, are the siblings??  Or the mama..........